Rockin' The Resume

I sent my resume to Harvard University two weeks ago.I wonder why I haven't received a letter of acceptance yet,along with a bouquet of 'WELCOME TO HARVARD!' flowers sent by the Dean and a notification that the new library will be named after me.

I don't know what went wrong.Here's a section of my resume.

Name:The Righteous Queen

Achievements:1.Won a staring contest with a house lizard.Twice.(And I'm sure that it was the same one.I could recognise its beady eyes anywhere) 2.1st runner up in a 5m race(My 71 year old grandma won.But it wasn't fair!She was in a wheelchair so obviously she had the advantage.) 3.Bronze in a wrestling championship match (Those kindergarteners were stronger than they looked,believe me.I swear I even saw one lift up his obese dad in front of me as a scare tactic.I peed my pants.) 4. Champion in a tic-tac-toe showdown(One of my proudest achievements yet) 5. 2nd place in a pie eating contest(There were 3 contestants altogether.1 of them was allergic to pies.)

Well I guess Harvard doesn't know talent when it sees one.This leaves me no choice but to apply for Oxford.I'll post my acceptance letter here so be on the look out!

Till next time...